Russian-built PT Cruiser wedding limo is the stuff of nightmares

This is just awful, folks

Only in Russia. We hope. 

Post-communist, mid-Putin Russia is a baffling place, and we're not even talking about the geopolitical implications of its current leadership's territorial aspirations. No, the burning question we find ourselves asking time and time again is this: How could so much money buy so little taste? Nobody, and we mean nobody, knows how to do gauche like a Russian oligarch.

The Chinese are trying, bless their hearts, but they've got a ways to go before they can match the sheer tackiness that seems to come as second nature to every Roman, Dimitry and Mikhail with a couple billion carefully distributed in various international tax havens.

Case in point: This kool kustom PT Cruiser limousinediscovered by Reddit user graneflatsis. There's a full gallery here, if you're interested.

This is the land of extravagant yachts, champagne throwdownsand mediocre Formula One teams … and the very best the blank canvas these so-called coachbuilders could scrounge up was a PT Cruiser?

D'elegance. 

Built for weddings and other super-special occasions, we know it's only used by the upper-crust of Russian society; you have to be somebody to cruise in an "exclusive limo," after all. And this is an exclusive limo. It says so right there on the upholstery. If we've learned one thing, it's that upholstery never lies.

Its most noticeable feature is the wavy passenger chamber tucked behind the cockpit -- Salvador Dalí's take on the Popemobile. But don't let that, uh, visually arresting greenhouse dominate your attention for too long. There are oodles of features to enjoy! A bar, of course. Subtle baroque flourishes super-glued to the side. Charming carriage lamps. Alas, there is no sunroof, but a glass floor ensures that you'll have a front-row seat when the driver inevitably high-centers the thing on a speedbump/hapless prole on the way from the chapel to the honeymoon dacha.

There's no indication of what four-pot has been tasked with hauling around all this additional bulk, but the 2.2-liter diesel available in global markets would be a logical choice -- perhaps the only logical choice on display here. Anyway, it's built for comfort and elegance and comfort, not speed.

We'll give credit where credit is due. Based on the photos, the attention to detail is impressive (though this just makes the choice of platform even more baffling). It has presence; it will turn heads, if that's what you're going for. And this stretch job doesn't seem to be sagging in the middle. For now. Pack a few Valentin Zukovskys in the back and all bets are off.

Then we noticed the hood ornament, which looks like it came off of a 1930s Buick. It's there in some photos, but missing in others. So either this rolling objet d'art remains a work in progress…

… or there are more than one of these abominations out there.

Some cars look better in motion, but this limo is not one of them. If you don't trust us, you can watch it on the road, below:

The best part about this thing, though, is that it's roaming the streets thousands of miles from where we currently sit, in a country we're unlikely to visit until Putin quits his saber-rattling and goes back to judo-chopping bears. How much harm could one of these things possibly cause, anyway?